Why Being Too Assertive Can Backfire On You

Being assertive is a great way to get ahead in life. However, when you’re overly assertive with women, it’s a quick way to end up single and alone. Women do not care for overly assertive men. To them it gives off the impression of immaturity and aggression. If you’re an assertive guy and have noticed that you’ve been having trouble hooking up with women, it may be time to look at exactly how assertive you are.

It Makes You Seem Like a Threat

“Being too nice is not what she wants”

Many men think the best way to attract women is by appearing to be assertive. Men know what they want and they aren’t afraid to go after it. That is a great mindset to have when you’re thinking about careers or business plans. However, that frame of mind when it comes to women is an entirely different ballpark. Whatever you have been told about women wanting overly assertive men, forget about it. Women do not want men who are too assertive. The main reason for this is because it makes them think that you are a threat.

Women are stalked and preyed after all types of men. Many women know firsthand that the more assertive a man is, the higher the chance that he will do something to her that will harm her. If you happen to be bigger and stronger than the women you are interested in addition to being overly assertive, she will more than likely be terrified of you. If you want to show her that you have no desire to harm her, you have to dial back how assertive you are. To do this, instead of speaking with a woman and immediately asking for her number, first apologize for disturbing her and then give her a respectful compliment. Chat with her for a bit (whether you’ve met her online or in person) before asking for any personal details. You should be able to tell if she’s actually interested in you by her replies.

It Makes It Seem Like You’re Overcompensating

“All she wants is to be with a player”

If you’ve ever heard the joke about women thinking that really assertive men are overcompensating for something, you can be sure that it is based off of some amount of truth. When a man feels the need to be overly assertive, women think that he is trying to cover up the fact that he has a small penis. If you’re the type of guy who comes on too strong and asserts yourself too much, women may think that you’re lacking when it comes to the bedroom. If you don’t want to be lumped in with men who actually are over compensating, you should make sure that you aren’t too assertive when meeting women.

There’s nothing wrong with being assertive, but you do have to know when to tone it down some. Being too assertive can make women uncomfortable or paranoid about your actions. If you want women to feel like you are someone that they can trust, you will have to learn how to manage your assertiveness to a way that it’s actually desirable to women rather than a complete turn off.


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